Why is it that in order to celebrate a bank holiday, the Rotary Club of my small little town finds it necessary to put up the American Flag?
Let's take Martin Luther King Day for example. The flags were lining Main Street like a Norman Rockwell print bursting at the seems with picture perfect pride. This incredible man fought for his freedoms...political and individual...as a black man of America. In the height of his career, he was battling hatred against minorities, violence to his kindred and standing up against issues that affected the communities his friends and family lived in. He did all these things as a citizen of America. The same America where a majority of the people oppressed him to begin with. The same America where tons of folks rose up against his principles and his stand for freedom, saying that he wasn't worthy of the same rights as his white neighbors.
Granted, there was another half of America that wasn't busy hating black people so much they had to hurt them. And for those folks, I'd hang an American flag in honor of MLK day. But why hang something that means as much negative as it does positive? These days when I see the American flag, it conjures up images of dear President Bush blatanly lying on National public televsion, a government hand picked by that dear man who, over the next four years, is on a campaign to destroy everthing that doesn't make money for rich folks or uphold outdated Christian morals, 18 year old men and women defending America for the sake of a firstly fabricated war that's turned into a stockpile of unneccessary deaths, and a country where more than half of its citizens voted (AGAIN!) for a President that would put its country through this. How am I supposed to look at an American flag and feel pride about the aforementioned things?
I love my country. But do not expect me to love my government. If there was a seperate flag that represented Mr. Bush and his government, then those who supported our current political situation could mark themselves as such. I will hang an American flag in support of my beautiful and diverse country, for my pride in the peaceful history and democratic systems of this enormous continent, for free speech, for privacy and for my ability to write this blog without being shot for publishing propoganda against my country. As for right now, though, with all its negative meaning, I cannot conjure up a positive, sentimental feeling towards the red, white and blue.
Consequently, if we're going to celebrate a holiday...let's celebrate the actual reason for the holiday, rather than finding another excuse to hang the American flag that right now represents support for the government rather than its people. We're celebrating MLK day, not support America's government day. MLK is the one who gained the freedoms...not the government. He's the one who had the ideas...not the government. Our great leaders always take the credit for other people's actions. I say we give Mr. King all the credit by finding a symbol that represents only him...only his achievements...only his contribution to this country. How about a flag with a picture of him on it? If MLK had the right to pick a symbol to celebrate his life and ideas, do you really think he'd pick the American flag to represent them? C'mon America...let's celebrate the individuals who made our country whole, not the country that is making our individuals disappear!
Friday, January 28, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
stall wisdom
Let's just say I'm thankful for my man having a fatter wallet than mine. By no means does it bulge outrageously from his rear, but it contains a few more spendable items than my "empty, tumbleweed blowin' across the road if you take a look down in it" wallet.
In the wake of my low funds, I've been staying home, hoarding my gas and pretending I have important things to do. Yes! I'll check my email for the hundredth time! And, have I shaved in the last couple of days? How about drinking another cup of coffee? The fire needs more tending, so I guess I'll sit here and make sure the flame doesn't go out. I keep telling myself that important famous people shave their legs and check their email too. The only difference between them and me is that they do those things in 20 minutes and I have the leisure of lathering up, checking my email, shaving my right leg, checking my email, lathering the left leg...and so on. When you get right down to it, it's a tough, jobless life I lead.
So just about the time I think my life has turned into a sock drawer color-coding hell, my man walks in the door and offers to buy dinner...out. It's been days since I've left the house for anything other than an interview and the occasional "I'll buy if you fly" errand for my folks. I was at the point of annoying myself so badly, that I was ready to start sleeping for a living just to get away from my attitude.
I accepted my man's invitation to dinner so readily and dressed so glamourously, you'd think I was one of those important famous people that could shave in 20 minutes flat. We set off to indulge in our new food fetish: hot and sour soup with a side of rice. I crave the stuff so badly now because it not only burns the roof of your mouth off, but we can both walk away with full bellies for a grand total of under $5!
We left the restaurant with our sights set on a big, sweating pint glass full of whatever's on special, of course. Promptly getting a buzz (I'm 5'1", 105 lbs. and my tolerance mimicks one of a two year old) from half of that pint glass, I excused myself to the bathroom. Aaaahhh, the ever beautiful bar bathroom that plagues the land of drinkers and daters and druggies and people who can't figure out how to flush. As I'm zipping up and flushing the toilet with the tip of my cowboy boot, I glance around at my stall full of Johnny loves Suzie's, Bush sucks slogans of one beautiful form or another and the ever expected new age lofty stuff I can never understand. There was, however, one sharpie owner that had taken some time to come up with worthwhile stall literature. She had quoted an honorable man of our history, obviously taking into account that half-drunk chicks like myself were going to take it to heart.
By the time I got back to my seat, I forgot the quote and which famous ex-president it came from, but for the half second I stood there contemplating it, my whole attitude changed. I rummaged through my purse (disappointed by my lack of a permanent writing utensil) in hopes that I could spontaneously come up with a quote that would change people's lives forever. This wasn't my first brush with loo wisdom, but it sure as hell put my mundane and somewhat annoying past couple of days into perspective. It was just what I needed.
I spent so long in the bathroom, floored by this quote, that when I returned to get trashed on the last half of my one beer, my man asked if everything was ok down there. "Yeah," I answered, instead of standing on the bar shouting... OF COURSE I'M OK! I WAS JUST LIBERATED BY THE BATHROOM STALL!
In the wake of my low funds, I've been staying home, hoarding my gas and pretending I have important things to do. Yes! I'll check my email for the hundredth time! And, have I shaved in the last couple of days? How about drinking another cup of coffee? The fire needs more tending, so I guess I'll sit here and make sure the flame doesn't go out. I keep telling myself that important famous people shave their legs and check their email too. The only difference between them and me is that they do those things in 20 minutes and I have the leisure of lathering up, checking my email, shaving my right leg, checking my email, lathering the left leg...and so on. When you get right down to it, it's a tough, jobless life I lead.
So just about the time I think my life has turned into a sock drawer color-coding hell, my man walks in the door and offers to buy dinner...out. It's been days since I've left the house for anything other than an interview and the occasional "I'll buy if you fly" errand for my folks. I was at the point of annoying myself so badly, that I was ready to start sleeping for a living just to get away from my attitude.
I accepted my man's invitation to dinner so readily and dressed so glamourously, you'd think I was one of those important famous people that could shave in 20 minutes flat. We set off to indulge in our new food fetish: hot and sour soup with a side of rice. I crave the stuff so badly now because it not only burns the roof of your mouth off, but we can both walk away with full bellies for a grand total of under $5!
We left the restaurant with our sights set on a big, sweating pint glass full of whatever's on special, of course. Promptly getting a buzz (I'm 5'1", 105 lbs. and my tolerance mimicks one of a two year old) from half of that pint glass, I excused myself to the bathroom. Aaaahhh, the ever beautiful bar bathroom that plagues the land of drinkers and daters and druggies and people who can't figure out how to flush. As I'm zipping up and flushing the toilet with the tip of my cowboy boot, I glance around at my stall full of Johnny loves Suzie's, Bush sucks slogans of one beautiful form or another and the ever expected new age lofty stuff I can never understand. There was, however, one sharpie owner that had taken some time to come up with worthwhile stall literature. She had quoted an honorable man of our history, obviously taking into account that half-drunk chicks like myself were going to take it to heart.
By the time I got back to my seat, I forgot the quote and which famous ex-president it came from, but for the half second I stood there contemplating it, my whole attitude changed. I rummaged through my purse (disappointed by my lack of a permanent writing utensil) in hopes that I could spontaneously come up with a quote that would change people's lives forever. This wasn't my first brush with loo wisdom, but it sure as hell put my mundane and somewhat annoying past couple of days into perspective. It was just what I needed.
I spent so long in the bathroom, floored by this quote, that when I returned to get trashed on the last half of my one beer, my man asked if everything was ok down there. "Yeah," I answered, instead of standing on the bar shouting... OF COURSE I'M OK! I WAS JUST LIBERATED BY THE BATHROOM STALL!
Friday, January 21, 2005
what inspiration?
As of late, I've been waking up with absolutely no idea what my day holds. I'm jobless, I'm broke...$37 in the bank broke...and living with my parents until I can so cliche-like "get on my feet again." I am job hunting fairly successfully...each resume I've submitted has granted me an interview full of corporate lingo and dress codes. "What are your career goals for the next five years?" they ask. Gee, to win the lottery so I don't have to work for your company. Or maybe own a houseboat and travel down the mississippi like a rich Huck Finn. Or how about live in Spain, walk around in white linen, and have an affair with the extremely tan and attractive, accent laden gardener? Gimme a break. I'm 24...madly in love with my lifestyle of playing more than I work and unable to tell you what I'll eat for lunch, much less what I'll be doing career wise in 5 stinkin' years.
At one place, I was handed about 72 sheets of rules, some of which I'll mention here, because they're just too ridiculous to keep to myself:
*Hair should not be styled with outrageous clips, pigtails, messy ponytails or buns.
*No necklaces or bracelets, one ring per hand, worn on ring finger. (As if!!!! "Yes, client of mine, I am a respectable married woman...because all respectable people are married.")
*Underwear must be white. (I was in there yesterday and NO ONE was wearing pants you could see through. Must be a fetish of the bosses.)
*Breath must be fresh (carry mints).
*Men: no facial hair or sideburns.
*About 15 or so rules dedicated to a clean/pressed uniform and shoes.
These rules might not seem ridiculous to the average person, but to me, I feel like I just got stabbed with a blunt knife 48 times and it never really broke the skin. I'll be walking around bearing the bruises of the corporate world and if I ever undressed the person next to me, I'll find the same 48 bruises all over their body. Please, don't EVER show the client that you could be a real person. Just admit to them that you're a Stepford Wife and if they'd like to change your attitude, there's a control panel on your back, just above the waistline.
Where, may I ask, is the inspiration in a life like this. Everyone looks the same, acts the same, moves and smiles in exactly the same manner as the one next to him. No one ever thinks of dressing to impress, being just a bit different to stand out amongst the competition, living for someone to complement the necklace their dead grandmother left them in her will, sauntering down the hallway in their new fabulous heels, trimming thier moustache to impress the ladies, feeling attractive in their own punkish, hip, abnormal way, or just plain having lifelong aspirations to never apply for robotdom.
Now, if they want to hire me, I'm sure I'll take the job because right now, having money to pay bills is more important than wearing my black thong panties to work. I just hope that the big wig bosses of these corporate rule-making complexes go home and have the ability to get inspired from the same mundane outfits and attitudes they see every day. Because I'll be damned if I can get an ounce worth of positive, how to live my life like I want to inspiration from a place like that.
At one place, I was handed about 72 sheets of rules, some of which I'll mention here, because they're just too ridiculous to keep to myself:
*Hair should not be styled with outrageous clips, pigtails, messy ponytails or buns.
*No necklaces or bracelets, one ring per hand, worn on ring finger. (As if!!!! "Yes, client of mine, I am a respectable married woman...because all respectable people are married.")
*Underwear must be white. (I was in there yesterday and NO ONE was wearing pants you could see through. Must be a fetish of the bosses.)
*Breath must be fresh (carry mints).
*Men: no facial hair or sideburns.
*About 15 or so rules dedicated to a clean/pressed uniform and shoes.
These rules might not seem ridiculous to the average person, but to me, I feel like I just got stabbed with a blunt knife 48 times and it never really broke the skin. I'll be walking around bearing the bruises of the corporate world and if I ever undressed the person next to me, I'll find the same 48 bruises all over their body. Please, don't EVER show the client that you could be a real person. Just admit to them that you're a Stepford Wife and if they'd like to change your attitude, there's a control panel on your back, just above the waistline.
Where, may I ask, is the inspiration in a life like this. Everyone looks the same, acts the same, moves and smiles in exactly the same manner as the one next to him. No one ever thinks of dressing to impress, being just a bit different to stand out amongst the competition, living for someone to complement the necklace their dead grandmother left them in her will, sauntering down the hallway in their new fabulous heels, trimming thier moustache to impress the ladies, feeling attractive in their own punkish, hip, abnormal way, or just plain having lifelong aspirations to never apply for robotdom.
Now, if they want to hire me, I'm sure I'll take the job because right now, having money to pay bills is more important than wearing my black thong panties to work. I just hope that the big wig bosses of these corporate rule-making complexes go home and have the ability to get inspired from the same mundane outfits and attitudes they see every day. Because I'll be damned if I can get an ounce worth of positive, how to live my life like I want to inspiration from a place like that.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Identitiy Choice
I know...it sounds etherial and full of bong induced hippie metaphors, but after I finish describing my blog name "plane angel," you too will find it less annoying.
This September I found myself on a plane to europe. I was shaking, my eyes were puffy from crying and I wanted off the plane so badly that I was ready to saw through the double panneled window with the little plastic knife they gave me in my unpalatable vegetarian lump of junk. Ready to address one of my biggest fears, I boarded the plane...alone...and ventured into what I had conjured up to be a month long abyss of roman barbarians and rude parisians with oogling eyes and wandering hands. I looked awful. My palms and pits were sweaty and I had a look of fear on my face like I knew the plane was ending up in the Atlantic. I kept telling myself that I had planned this trip for a good time, memories, pictures to show the grandkids, and maybe a chance to ride a moped like Amelie. I'm supposed to be excited, right?
So there's me by the window, an empty seat in the middle, and the most normal looking 9-5, blue-suit-wearing, comb over business man I've ever seen. We exchanged pleasantries, he assured me the pilot would try his best to keep us out of the ocean and I assured him that, yes, I would be careful traveling through europe alone. Then, in walks the middle seat taker...smelling like he was fresh out of the airport dumpster. I conjured up this image of him waiting at baggage claim for his stolen grocery cart full of the things he needed to succeed as a homeless man in Paris. How did he afford the flight, I wonder? He smiled that polite "I'm sitting beside you for the next eight hours" smile, and closed his eyes for the following three.
I felt movement next to me, so I pulled my nose out of the Paris guidebook I was reading for the hundredth time (trying to make sure I knew how to use the metro!) to smile quickly at my dumpster diving neighbor. He smiled back, with a face full of folding wrinkles and a mouth that boasted the cutest gap between his two front teeth. Next thing I know, he grabs the guidebook out of my hand and points directly to the 14th arrondisement saying, "That is my family, there!" His English was not so good and spoken in an accent that pulled from his French, Italian and Hebrew background. Come to find out, he was no homeless man, but a world traveler who spoke eight languages, had homes in three countries and was on his way to Paris to visit grandchildren for the Jewish High Holy Days. "You come eat with my family. I give you directions to 14th arrondisement. We eat, sing, dance. My nephew show you tour around Paris." We were instant friends.
After some small talk, he leaned so far over me to look out the window, I thought I would have to share my seat with him (this was my very first introduction into the lack of personal space I'd recieve all over Europe). He started pointing wildly at the sunset and its different colors saying "There! See! Above the colors are angels!" Over the next twenty minutes, he explained to me that once you reach a certain elevation in the sky, you can see all the angels. To get me to understand this, he was drawing on paper, moving his hands, trying words in English that didn't quite get his point across. He was so passionate about telling me this, that he must have been mimicking Albert Einstein on the brink of discovery. His breath quickened, his eyes widened. And at that time, I needed comfort in something, so I let him tell me about the beautiful angels that were flying just above our plane, guiding our way.
I don't know what it was about that man, but he gave me exactly the story I needed, delivered in the sweet poetic prose of his broken English. I carried him and his angles with me throughout my trip and on into my daily life. If he could believe that intensely in the angels above our plane, then I could believe in the strength of my own desires to make it through my trip. I called him my plane angel and think about him quite often. May his angels still guide him on all his journeys.
This September I found myself on a plane to europe. I was shaking, my eyes were puffy from crying and I wanted off the plane so badly that I was ready to saw through the double panneled window with the little plastic knife they gave me in my unpalatable vegetarian lump of junk. Ready to address one of my biggest fears, I boarded the plane...alone...and ventured into what I had conjured up to be a month long abyss of roman barbarians and rude parisians with oogling eyes and wandering hands. I looked awful. My palms and pits were sweaty and I had a look of fear on my face like I knew the plane was ending up in the Atlantic. I kept telling myself that I had planned this trip for a good time, memories, pictures to show the grandkids, and maybe a chance to ride a moped like Amelie. I'm supposed to be excited, right?
So there's me by the window, an empty seat in the middle, and the most normal looking 9-5, blue-suit-wearing, comb over business man I've ever seen. We exchanged pleasantries, he assured me the pilot would try his best to keep us out of the ocean and I assured him that, yes, I would be careful traveling through europe alone. Then, in walks the middle seat taker...smelling like he was fresh out of the airport dumpster. I conjured up this image of him waiting at baggage claim for his stolen grocery cart full of the things he needed to succeed as a homeless man in Paris. How did he afford the flight, I wonder? He smiled that polite "I'm sitting beside you for the next eight hours" smile, and closed his eyes for the following three.
I felt movement next to me, so I pulled my nose out of the Paris guidebook I was reading for the hundredth time (trying to make sure I knew how to use the metro!) to smile quickly at my dumpster diving neighbor. He smiled back, with a face full of folding wrinkles and a mouth that boasted the cutest gap between his two front teeth. Next thing I know, he grabs the guidebook out of my hand and points directly to the 14th arrondisement saying, "That is my family, there!" His English was not so good and spoken in an accent that pulled from his French, Italian and Hebrew background. Come to find out, he was no homeless man, but a world traveler who spoke eight languages, had homes in three countries and was on his way to Paris to visit grandchildren for the Jewish High Holy Days. "You come eat with my family. I give you directions to 14th arrondisement. We eat, sing, dance. My nephew show you tour around Paris." We were instant friends.
After some small talk, he leaned so far over me to look out the window, I thought I would have to share my seat with him (this was my very first introduction into the lack of personal space I'd recieve all over Europe). He started pointing wildly at the sunset and its different colors saying "There! See! Above the colors are angels!" Over the next twenty minutes, he explained to me that once you reach a certain elevation in the sky, you can see all the angels. To get me to understand this, he was drawing on paper, moving his hands, trying words in English that didn't quite get his point across. He was so passionate about telling me this, that he must have been mimicking Albert Einstein on the brink of discovery. His breath quickened, his eyes widened. And at that time, I needed comfort in something, so I let him tell me about the beautiful angels that were flying just above our plane, guiding our way.
I don't know what it was about that man, but he gave me exactly the story I needed, delivered in the sweet poetic prose of his broken English. I carried him and his angles with me throughout my trip and on into my daily life. If he could believe that intensely in the angels above our plane, then I could believe in the strength of my own desires to make it through my trip. I called him my plane angel and think about him quite often. May his angels still guide him on all his journeys.
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